Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
