What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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