"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
