he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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