Soap is not a condiment
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
