I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
