Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
