spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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