I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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