i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is Oprah even human
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
