White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
