I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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