another moral hangover. fuck.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
3 2 1 whiskey
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Randomize
