I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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