found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
