What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I enjoy the company of your penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
