Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
