"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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