it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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