New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
