so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the condom got lost in my hair
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
