I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
