why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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