If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
