Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
