its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
