i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
