Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
