Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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