I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's like iHOP with fire
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
