I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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