craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
