I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
