What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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