I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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