Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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