So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
