I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
