I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
