with your own penis?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
