The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
