I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
