I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
