she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
