She's JV to your varsity
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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