I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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