dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
