ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
