It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
