How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
