he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
